Puppy Love

I miss my darling Remy.

So so so much that the empty space in my heart still feels like a cavernous hole that is drippy, and sharp, and full of stalagtites (or is it stalagmites?). It's smelly and dark and probably full of bat poop. Am I being ridiculous?

I ran by the place where he got hit last week.

I'm not sure why I did it... I guess I felt like I just needed to see the place that it happened, you know? As I was jogging, I couldn't help but picture him running along with me. Watching his waggy little tail go back and forth as he trotted by my side. It was nice to imagine myself being with him one last time, especially because I never got to say goodbye.

Papillon in a purse... can't get much better than that.

From the most recent (and amazing) Anthro catalogue.

As I went, I realized that I was picking up speed, and that I wasn't getting any closer to my precious little buddy. I was running after something that was no longer there. Trying to catch up to give him one more scratch behind the ears - one more sweet hug - one more kiss on the nose.

With the tears and sweat taking the same paths down my face, I turned onto our street the same way that I left... without my beloved pup.

Portable Pup. Sharon Montrose Photographs, via sfgirlbybay.

I know that we will bring a dog into our home again someday, and when we do he/she will be furry, fabulous, and feel like a part of the family.

For now? I am still full of hurt, anger, and confusion as to why this had to happen to us, and to him.

I miss you, Remy. Thanks for bringing us endless amounts of joy, and I can't wait to join you in heaven someday.