Monday, September 22, 2008

Puppy Love



I miss my darling Remy.

So so so much that the empty space in my heart still feels like a cavernous hole that is drippy, and sharp, and full of stalagtites (or is it stalagmites?). It's smelly and dark and probably full of bat poop. Am I being ridiculous?

I ran by the place where he got hit last week.

I'm not sure why I did it... I guess I felt like I just needed to see the place that it happened, you know? As I was jogging, I couldn't help but picture him running along with me. Watching his waggy little tail go back and forth as he trotted by my side. It was nice to imagine myself being with him one last time, especially because I never got to say goodbye.


Papillon in a purse... can't get much better than that.
From the most recent (and amazing) Anthro catalogue.


As I went, I realized that I was picking up speed, and that I wasn't getting any closer to my precious little buddy. I was running after something that was no longer there. Trying to catch up to give him one more scratch behind the ears - one more sweet hug - one more kiss on the nose.

With the tears and sweat taking the same paths down my face, I turned onto our street the same way that I left... without my beloved pup.


Portable Pup. Sharon Montrose Photographs, via sfgirlbybay.

I know that we will bring a dog into our home again someday, and when we do he/she will be furry, fabulous, and feel like a part of the family.

For now? I am still full of hurt, anger, and confusion as to why this had to happen to us, and to him.

I miss you, Remy. Thanks for bringing us endless amounts of joy, and I can't wait to join you in heaven someday.

10 comments:

Emily said...

aw, this made me tear up. i can't wait to see my Remy (she was a yellow lab) again someday.

Amanda said...

One day, running in that same spot will fill you with joy and sweet memories. For now, let your emotions take you where they may.

Jennifer said...

Oh, that was so sweet. And no, you are totally not being ridiculous. I was a complete mess after our last dog died. It takes time.

Through the Looking Glass said...

Look at you: You are just beautiful. Such love and tenderness and sincerity. What a lucky little pup Remy was, is, and will always be.

G said...

I miss him daily...

There isn't much else to say but that.

karey m. said...

i'm sorry, you poor little thing! this was lovely...

bakingwithplath said...

This is so heartbreaking! I know how much it hurts to lose a pet and I'm so sorry. Remy was lucky to have such a loving mama to make his time on earth so great.

Courtney said...

I hope your heart gets warm and full soon. I am so so so sorry for your pain and the emptiness you're feeling. I can't imagine.

But I want you to know reading this post made me love on my pup an extra long time this morning. And all I could think about was hoping you feel picked up again soon. I'd send my pup over for consoling if we were close enough. She lends a good ear. I do too!

Hoping things get better for you. He was one darling pup!

Jessie said...

Oh, your words...

Thanks for the love today, my dears.

The Lil Bee said...

Jessie, God, I am so sorry. And so choked up. I am thinking about you both and just know that Remy is happy and at peace. It's impossible to make sense of, but one day you will be with him again. And really he is always with you.

I'm just so sorry.