Thursday, August 7, 2008


Just look at those eyes

If you read Dooce, then you've probably already read this article, but for those of you who missed it - you should... no you NEED to go there now. (Mama, click on the "this.")

Reading about Dani and her story, and the family that adopted her, really put all my recent goings-ons into perspective.

Unlike Dani's biological mother (if you could even call her that), my precious Mama has done nothing but encourage me, cry with me, and pray for me whenever times are tough.

Today, after listening to me go on and on through my tears, she reminded me of what each of her own parents would tell me. My sweet Bompa, who taught me to laugh, to love, and to search for the great in everything, would have said "You've gotta be tough, Jessy."

I can still hear his most gentle voice.

If anyone else I know told me that right now, I would probably tell them to "Buzz off" and that "I'm doing my best", but my Bomps could do no wrong in my eyes. He'd say those words, and then he'd grab my hands and dance me around the room to the music of Eddy Arnold. My cares were always trampled by his two-steppin' toes and his starry-eyed smile.

My Meema, (who is still alive, but is barely holding on despite a severe case of Alzheimer's), would have said, "Keep your chin up, Lovey." She was always calling people Lovey, and I know that it was a true testament to the fact that she really did love everyone.

And everyone loved her. I don't know of any other way to describe her beauty besides...

Radiating. Breath. Taking. Totally captivating.

Always taking care of others and making sure her brood was happy and well-fed, she would have baked my troubles right into a cherry pie. She would have folded my hurt in with the flour, and then she would have sprinkled the sugar right on top of my sting. I always got to pour in the cherries and finish the edge of the crust, and believe you me, I would have felt better with each little pinch of that dough. When it was done, we would have gobbled it up together, and my worries would be forever drowned in deliciousness.

Meema and Bompa were two of the wisest people I know, and their words, as well as their endless love, will stick with me forever.

My Mom is right. Meema and Bompa were right.

I've got to... and I'm going to

Be tough with my chin up

And until I get to the other side of this mess, I'll be dreaming of twirling and baking with my two beloved friends.


Regardez Moi said...

ohhh jessie. everything will be okay. you are a radiant person (i can just tell) and i know, i just know, that good things are to come. i can feel it. so chin up. :)

Sneaky Chic said...

So now I'm crying. Thanks.

No really, thanks for the wonderful story and heartfelt words. I agree with Jozette, good things are in your future, Lovey.

karey m. said...

this is know? sad and mad and lovely and painful and hope and faith and worry and perfect and broken and fixed.

i'll think my best thoughts for you...and what a wonderful tribute to your g-parents.

what i always forget to tell you is that your eyes? in all those pics and even when you're eating ice cream? so beautiful. they're just the biggest part of you, you know? i'm sure grae-rose could draw them perfectly...


Anonymous said...

What a lovely, lovely tribute to those you love. I really loved every word and had to choke back some tears.

Everything is going to work out...I just know it. :)

dee said...

I just read that story about Dani and was so, so sad, and pissed off, and altogether shocked. Her new parents are saints. I hope so much that she is happy, somewhere in her heart. God.

And hang in there, Jessie. I'm thinking of you, too:) xo

Amanda said...

Wow! What a story! Although it is so cliche', good things really do come from adversity. We never see that during the hard times, but can look back and say "thank god it turned out the way it did!"

If you need some good Kansas conversation, let me know. I can be in KC in just a few hours. Most weeks I am in Topeka at least one day a week!

Jessie said...

Thanks, gals. Your words have carried over into the recent hurt that my heart is going through, and it has been nice to look back on them and know that everything is going to be ok.